Are You Ready for What Is Coming in 2022?
As we approach the end of 2021 and the holiday season it is really important to take stock in your accomplishments for the year and give yourself some credit and celebration. Too often we attempt to measure our progress by examining where we fell short in the attainment of our goals for the year rather than actually recognizing the gains we have made towards our goals. This is a never-ending hamster wheel that will keep you discouraged and tempted to create lesser goals rather than continuing to strive for bigger break-throughs.
Try to spend some time this holiday season looking back through the last year and giving yourself credit for what you have done and use that energy to begin to create your big goals for 2022. Here are a few tips to consider when you have some quiet time to really focus on making your next year’s goals really powerful.
- Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude! I can’t stress this point enough. What you focus on in your life expands. If you continually focus on what you don’t have then that will be the theme that envelops your life. Being grateful for your current situation will allow you to more freely accept and appreciate opportunities that will come along that can increase your prosperity and happiness.
- Your only competition should be against your future self. It is pointless to try to measure your achievements based on what others have done, even if you may look up to them and want to accomplish what they have accomplished. Everyone has unique gifts and skills. Picture yourself in 2 to 3 years and what your future self has achieved and compete against that person. Strive to have what that person has.
- Visualize in detail what your future self will be like in the next 2 to 3 years to have an accurate set of goals. Create a complete vision of yourself in 2 to 3 years; where you would live, people you would hang out with, activities you would do, behaviors you would have or not have, even down to the clothes you would wear. What does your preferred daily schedule look like. What is your exercise routine, your sleep habits, the car you will drive, etc. Creating a complete picture will allow you to make a check with every action you take—is this action going to move me in the direction of the future self I have created in my mind? If not then you need to ask yourself why you are continuing to do it and focus on actions that will move you in that direction.
Hopefully these tips will be helpful in your planning and preparation for the coming year. Remember to be the change you seek in others.
Are You Dealing With An Email Bully?
There are few things more annoying and productivity crushing than having the misfortune of receiving a hostile email from a co-worker or boss. Your blood boils, you stop what you were doing and prepare to craft the perfect torpedo email to completely sink all of their false accusations, mis-characterizations and even insults. You read it to yourself with a sly smile and click send.
Has this happened to you before? As you read this in a calm and collected moment you clearly say to yourself “I would not be that impulsive”, but in the anger of the moment when you are being accused or attacked sometimes good judgement goes out the window.
No matter what position you may hold and no matter what company you work for there is a likely chance at some point you will have to deal with hostile emails from customers, co-workers and sometimes even your own boss. In these scenarios it is sometimes a fine line to walk between attempting to address the issue yourself or escalating the issue if it moves into the realm of a hostile work environment.
What I say here may ruffle some feathers but I am of the frame of mind that once you are in an executive position the expectation you should have for yourself is that in most circumstances you have the capacity to solve your own problems. This doesn’t mean running off to HR every time another executive says something hyper-critical or abrasive. I am not advocating necessarily tolerating a blatantly hostile work environment, but as a leader you are supposed to solve problems and take ownership.
All that being said, here are some initial thoughts on how to address a hostile or toxic email:
- What is the sender trying to say?
It is really important to grow some thick skin in this situation and parse what is said in the email. Remove any personal attacks and simply look at the underlying point of the message. There may be legitimate areas of concern in the email buried in hostile language that you might not pick up on if you get too hung up on the surrounding language.
Focus on the point of the message. If there is none and this individual is just sending a message with nothing but personal attacks and hostility then you should confront this individual as to the point of the email and the personal attacks. There is nothing wrong with directly confronting a colleague or even your boss if they are personally attacking you with no other purpose than to be belligerent or condescending.
- Now on the more likely scenario that there is actually something productive to be pulled from the hostile email, write out each of those points to prepare your response. Do not write your response right away. You do not want to write this email in the heat of the moment when your emotions may be running high. Wait as long as you feel like you can get away with it before responding so you will be calm and collected.
- Your email should start with a conciliatory tone and statement. At this point it is not a matter of being right but of resolving a conflict. You need to attempt to be a peace maker here. A statement like “I can understand and appreciate your frustration regarding this/these issue(s).” or something similar should work well. It sets a tone that you are not intending to get into a mud-slinging match.
- Next it is a good idea to enumerate each of the issues you were able to pull from the original email to make sure you are clearly understanding the source of the frustration.
“I would like to restate each of the items you outlined in your previous email to make sure I have a clear understanding of and can fully address your concerns.”
You should then re-state in a non-provoking manner the items you pulled from the email but in your own words rather than a cut and paste to make sure you show understanding of what was said.
- You then need to address each item briefly and with facts or proof. You do not need to personally defend yourself at this point—let the facts and proof do that for you. It is important not to be combative here because your points and proof will get lost if you give the sender any additional fuel for their frustration. Also, be objective here. If there are areas where you may have made a mistake or overlooked certain details then come clean and acknowledge those items where you could have improved. Humility is not a bad word and good leaders accept accountability.
Example:
“You stated that you were not made aware of the customer’s issue prior to the meeting and felt blindsided by their complaints. After reviewing my email I have found a communication sent to you Tuesday at 3:45pm that outlines this customer’s frustration and several possible solutions. I apologize if you were not aware of this communication, but it was sent and I can resend you the email if you would like.”
Very matter of fact, no emotion or confrontation—just stating facts.
- The last step is to close the email with an invitation to get on a phone call if there are any additional questions. Email is never a good medium to discuss issues like this and often people who would write toxic emails are “email tough guys”. If you get them on the phone many times it is easier to diffuse potential hostility by talking through a situation. It is usually not a good idea to send any additional emails. If they do not contact you via phone and continue to send you emails then you should pick up the phone and call them. Explain that you would prefer to work through this issue without the back and forth of emails.
The CC Dynamic
A critical piece to consider when dealing with a toxic email is who is seeing the email. If it is directed solely to you then this next section is not relevant. If it is to a group of people you need to examine who is included in the email. ALWAYS remove any third party vendors, clients and others outside of your company. Internal fighting does not look good to outside individuals and can impact the company’s reputation. After you have removed these individuals, make sure everyone else in the list of recipients has some involvement or interest in the discussion items of the email. Sometimes people who write hostile emails like to include other individuals just for the sake of complaining to as many people as possible in an attempt to make you look bad. Don’t continue including them if they are not part of the actual issue.
The reason you want to include the remaining recipients is for your own reputation. When someone sends an email to a group of people about you being incompetent and there is no response to refute those accusations then the idea of your incompetence goes unchallenged and could hurt your reputation moving forward. People need to see that you can handle yourself in situations like this and respond professionally and factually. Doing this often will make the person who sent the email look petty.
I have used this strategy frequently in the past with success. Often times it can assist in strengthening relationships with colleagues as it demonstrates you have a level head and can help to diffuse stressful situations. Remember that most people are not monsters and may be having a bad day, may be under extreme pressure from elsewhere in the company or may have other issues that drove them to the point of sending a nasty email. Is it right? Of course not. But looking into things more deeply and attempting to understand your environment and the people you work with ultimately demonstrates your leadership skills, critical thinking and emotional awareness. In the end you will almost always come out on top with these things in mind.
What are your thoughts? Do you think this strategy is too conciliatory? How have you handled hostile or toxic emails in your own company. Leave a reply in the comments and keep the discussion going.
5 Ways to Crush Your Next Meeting
There are around 55 million meetings happening today. Of those more than a third are wasting time and resources because they do not accomplish their goal. Does this sound like your last meeting? Here are some suggestions to crush your next meeting and get the most from your time.
- Be sure you even need a meeting. Maybe the presented material lends itself better to a simple email distribution. Maybe a post in Teams or Slack would be more effective. Sometimes the asynchronous nature of these mediums is better not only for you but for all those who do not have to gather and waste time when they could simply read the contents at a time of their convenience.
- Make sure everyone you invite to a meeting really has a need to be there. When helping executives with effective time management, one of the first things we do is go through their calendar and assume all meetings are canceled. They then have to come up with the consequence for each cancelation to see if it is really something they need to attend. Most of the time they attend only because they were invited, not because there was any value in them being in the meeting. Instead of making all the invitees of your next meeting go through this exercise, why not save them the trouble by making sure them being in the meeting adds value to the overall goal. If it does not, don’t invite them.
- Have an agenda that is provided ahead of the actual meeting. This gives people the ability to come prepared and know what to expect in the meeting. This agenda should have timeboxed items so that you can keep everyone on track by referring back to the agenda schedule. Allow time in the beginning for typical greeting and pleasantries and always recap or debrief at the end of the meeting. Set clear next actions to all in attendance.
- Don’t let the default time period in your meeting scheduler decide the length of your meetings. When you create a meeting really think about how long you need in order for the meeting to be productive. Don’t just go with 30 minutes because that is what Outlook defaults to. It is inconsiderate of other people’s time when you schedule 30 minutes of time for something that could be accomplished in 15 minutes. But based on Parkinson’s law, the meeting will still manage to expand to fit the time it is given.
- The last and probably most important way to crush your meetings is to always start them on time and do not wait for stragglers. Do not fill in or summarize for anyone who shows up late. There is nothing more annoying then someone committing to a meeting that starts 5 to 10 minutes late and goes over the intended time period to throw off the rest of their day because every other meeting they have will have this same unorganized start. Don’t do this to your team! It only takes a few times for someone to miss important content because they were late for them to start making more of an effort to get to your meetings on time. If those people are consistently late to your meetings then they probably do not add value to the meetings and should not be invited.
Hopefully this will give you some things to think about when you create your next meeting. Here’s hoping you crush it! What do you think? Have you used any of these strategies before? How have you kept your meetings organized. Leave a comment if you agree or disagree with any of these methods.
Does Bad Language Make You a Better Leader
It always surprises me how often in board rooms, 1 on 1 discussions, trade shows and any other professional environment how much colorful language is thrown around as comfortably as if you were talking to your grandmother. Does using profanity in a professional environment help to drive home an emotional point or create a more tightly bonded team? Or does it make you look ignorant and aggressive as a leader?
Naturally there are two camps on this topic. Apparently there is research supporting controlled use of profanity and bad language to create a more cohesive team that better relates to itself. This does not necessarily mean constant foul language as this could lead to charges of a hostile work environment. Instead, allowing profanity to be part of an employee’s right of emotional expression. This camp also believes that forcing employees to “censor” themselves restricts free speech and creative energy since employees spend more energy “being careful” about what they say rather than just letting whatever creative energy exists flow freely.
The other camp regarding this thinks foul language is simply a filler, no different than the excessive use of “um” or “so”. It conveys a lack of fluidity in the english language and lowers an individual’s perceived maturity level. . It creates a hostile work environment and has no real place in a professional environment.
I feel like reality is somewhere in the middle for most of us. I tend towards the latter because I think profanity is simply wasted air. It conveys nothing additional that your other chosen words and energy level could not convey on their own. It adds nothing to the actual content you are expressing and does come across like filler words. And because these are “bad” words it is difficult to know how others you interact with will process them. Some may not care about the language used while others may find it offensive or find that it makes them uncomfortable. As a result you are automatically placing your position at a disadvantage depending on who is on the receiving end.
Don’t get me wrong…it is not that I never use bad language. I think the difference for me is that is far more of an exception than the norm. I often wince when I hear certain words when thrown around in casual conversation but have used those same words in an expression of pain or extreme frustration—usually with technology. The real question to answer is as a leader with people who look up to you and follow your lead, does profanity add value to your team as part of your leadership style?
What do you think? Leave a comment on how you think bad language either helps or hurts leaders and their teams.
3 Reasons Team Engagement Could Be Down and What You Can Do About It
Executives I work with often struggle with team engagement as one of their biggest yet most illusive problems. Often they view engagement as the responsibility of the employee and push for solutions that are centered around the employee. But in almost all cases of low employee engagement the cause can be linked directly to management style and practices.
This is not to say that those managers who struggle with employee engagement are bad managers. Often times they are not aware that some of their behaviors and stylistic approaches to solving problems create mixed signals or confusion to heir employees which can lead to disengagement. The fix can be as simple as understanding and observing these behaviors and replacing them with behaviors that encourage and inspire employee engagement. Here are three things that could be causing employee disengagement and some ideas to fix them.
- Inconsistency
This is probably one of the most frustrating engagement killers out there and it is so easy sometimes to get caught up in this because it has so many ways it can manifest. This can range from favoring certain employees whom you like over that problem employee who just always rubs you the wrong way to frequently changing the expectations, scope or deadlines of that project you have everyone working on diligently. This can also stem from excessive moodiness where employeees may not know how you will respond to problems from day to day or even inconsistency with constructive criticism and praise.
The solution to this is pretty simple, but not easy. Consistency is an important trait for any leader to have. It is what allows the people who report to you to know and understand your expectations and how they can succeed. Not knowing what is expected from your manager, seeing inconsistent attitudes towards others in the team as well as yourself and constantly changing projects, deadlines and work loads will keep an employee from fully engaging in their job.
- Micromanagement
I see this a lot with new managers or executives that were superior as a technology master but struggle when tasked to lead other technology employees. The thought of being more hands off on the actual completion of tasks and more in the business of directing and delegating is often unnatural to these brilliant technologists. They have spent their entire career improving their craft in order to move up and now everything they knew almost works against them. Often this leads to a certain level of insecurity and a desire to want to control outcomes of their direct reports. It is sometimes difficult to change from relying on yourself to succeed vs. your success being based around how well you can drive others to succeed. In my executive coaching practice I focus very heavily on this mental and professional shift in new executives and how to make this transition.
The solution here is to build and strengthen trust of your employees. Understand that everyone does things differently and that does not make it right or wrong. Be more focused on results rather than methods and provide guidance with the intent to have them succeed in their own way. There are many different paths that lead to success and you have only walked one of them.
- Distractions and burnout
I have included these two together because they can exist individually but usually one leads to and feeds the other.These particular issues have become more evident through the recent pandemic where many businesses were not only forced to downsize but also convert to a remote working environment. Now you have people working from home who may not have a private office area who are surrounded by an incredible amount of distractions and those same people are now having to pick up the slack for a smaller team size. Depression, alcoholism, drug abuse and suicide all increased during the pandemic and all this playing together pushed team engagement to a staggering low.
The solution here is for you to engage more with your employees. You need to take time to really get to know the people that work for you. Weekly 1 on 1 discussions to discuss problems, aspirations and goals helps to bring you a little closer to your employees so they feel like you are genuinely concerned about their well-being and success. Take the time to talk about hobbies, family, etc. if they are willing to open up to attempt to relate to them on a more personal level. Professional does not have to be completely devoid of personal. Understanding your employees more will help you to be a better leader and also a better professional advocate for them.
How is your team engagement? Do you feel you have a fully engaged team, or are you frustrated with their level of engagement. Post a reply in the comments and let us know.
The monolithic team
How often do you use “them”, “they” or “my team” when referring to your team regarding a problem or concern, or even in praise? Is your team, for good or bad, a single entity or monolith?
In the very beginning of my leadership journey I used to refer to my direct hires this way—as a single unit. Even praise was considered “to the team”. This idea of collectivism I found very quickly was not only damaging to the overall morale of the team but often robbed the company of great and creative ideas.
Most people like the idea of being part of a team—belonging to something that allows them personal interactions at some level and the ability to accomplish more than what they could on their own. But people also want to feel they contribute a part of themselves to the team dynamic. Promoting “group think” or the idea that everyone needs to come together to the same conclusion to move ideas forward can leave your team members feeling unappreciated and unimportant, but can also squash the flow of creative ideas and innovation.
Some of this may sound like common sense, but it manifests itself in several subtle ways that you might not be aware of. For example, do you consider not only an employee’s skillset when handing out an assignment, but also their work preferences? From my own engineering perspective, I have developers who hate doing user interface and graphics work and others who enjoy it. By knowing the type of work your employees like to do you are able to provide them with more rewarding projects and assignments. And while we are on this topic of knowing your employees, have you ever even asked them what they enjoy most and what they enjoy the least? Have you taken the time to understand their motivations and how you can best relate to them?
The same is true when recognizing accomplishments and praising your direct reports. As a new leader I never took credit for any of my team’s successes but I also never gave it to them as individuals. In a way this was like I was taking the credit myself as “my team’s” success. Once I realized that this was actually a selfish and spotlight stealing attitude, I started shifting recognition to individuals who made the difference. If someone really made the extra effort and drove a project over the finish line ahead of schedule or under budget then they were always specifically named in the executive meetings to ensure not only the proper credit was given but also so the leadership team started to hear the names of the superstars over and over. Not only did the individual team members appreciate the recognition but it also set them up for professional growth and advancement.
In conclusion, it can sometimes be easy to think of those who report to you as a monolithic group to which a one size fits all solution can be applied to any aspect of the team dynamic. There is a fine line between recognizing each team member individually and losing the overall corporate vision and collective strategy, but it is a line that is worth scrutinizing. Often some of the best creativity, innovation and team development exists on
this line
What are your thoughts? Do you sometimes catch yourself doing this? Post a reply in the comments and let us know your team story.
Did the Pandemic Change How We Sleep
The concept of napping has actually began to gain momentum as a legitimate practice for highly effective and productive people. It wasn’t long ago that it was considered a practice for elderly retired people and some highly progressive tech companies like Google. However, with the pandemic changing the way we think of our work day the practice of napping, either power napping or even what is referred to as poly-phasic sleeping has garnered more attention.
There are numerous studies that reinforce the importance of good healthy sleep. I was surprised to see however, the number of studies that support some form of regenerative napping during the day. The famous “power nap” is one practice wherein someone rests just long enough NOT to enter REM sleep—usually 20 minutes or so. I have heard of the “key method” of power napping where executives would lay on their office couch with their arm extended off the side with their keys in their hand. When they got to the point of entering REM sleep and the body begins to twitch slightly they drop the keys on the ground and the noise wakes them from sleep. However you manage to wake up, this type of short nap has been shown to increase awareness and reduce signs of fatigue.
A different concept I have recently been exposed to is the concept of phasic sleeping. A normal 8 hours of sleep in one session is called monophasic—a single sleep phase that encompasses all the sleep you will get for a 24 hour period. Bi-phasic sleep sessions are split into two periods. One type of bi-phasic sleep essentially models the siesta concept in many latin countries—the idea that you get a large block of sleep at night for about 4 to 6 hours and then an additional 90 minutes during the afternoon when chemicals in the brain tend to trigger more fatigue. Another form of bi-phasic sleeping is going to bed earlier at around 10pm and sleeping until about 2am. You would then wake up for about 2 to 3 hours and then return to sleep for another 2 to 3 hours. The latter is geared towards those people who tend to wake at around 1am to 2am and are always restless for a time but then fall into deep sleep again around 5am.
A more unique practice is the poly-phasic sleep schedules. These usually include a larger block of sleep at night for around 4 hours and then numerous 20 to 30 minute naps throughout the day and possibly one more larger block for 1 to 2 hours. There are multiple ways to schedule poly-phasic sleeping depending on your work and home schedule and many other personal factors.
Researchers point out in many of these studies that the bi-phasic and poly-phasic sleep models more naturally coincide with physiological patterns that have been in our DNA since we were hunter/gatherers. The introduction of artificial light began to move people towards the monophasic style of sleep. For those who actually have sleep disorders these types of phasic alternatives could help with treatment.
Why am I so fascinated with sleep? When any executive has productivity or efficiency issues one of the things I would discuss with them is how they are sleeping. A lack of good quality sleep is an absolute productivity killer and the majority of the population cannot function on 4 hours of sleep every night. But for those who can factor in one of these alternative phasic sleep schedules they may be able to counteract some of the damage they are doing by only getting 4 hours of sleep every night.
What is your sleeping schedule like? Have you ever tried one of these alternative poly-phasic sleep patterns? Leave a reply in the comments and let us know how your sleep schedule works for you and if you would be willing to try one of these alternatives.